Some priceless nuggets from my mind.
I'm an actor in Los Angeles who actually acts.
In love with Blue Moon.
Drenched in cynical sarcasm.
In need of a puppy.
Addicted to flossing.
Loathes bad spellers.
Turned on by proper punctuation.
--Kayla Mae Maloney
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
A Guide For Old(er) Men and How to “Get” Your Cocktail Server.
1. If your cocktail server is normal and you are as old as her father, she is not interested.
2. Even if she smiles at you and is friendly, she is not interested.
3. Even if you leave a 50% tip, she is not interested.
4. If you have previously come in with your wife who is now your ex-wife, she is not interested.
5. If you’ve left with a hooker, she is not interested.
6. If you tell her that her biological clock is ticking, she is not interested.
7. If you offer her a shot of tequila, she is not interested.
8. If you offer her a job, she is not interested.
9. If you tell her she is the best looking female to ever work at this place, she is not interested.
10. Hey old guys, your cocktail server is NOT interested! You will never get her! Go home!
