Some priceless nuggets from my mind.
I'm an actor in Los Angeles who actually acts.
In love with Blue Moon.
Drenched in cynical sarcasm.
In need of a puppy.
Addicted to flossing.
Loathes bad spellers.
Turned on by proper punctuation.
--Kayla Mae Maloney
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Find Your Hotness!
These drinks directly correlate to how cool and awesome you are. If you order a #1 you are a moron all the way down to #10 you’re so awesome we should marry! Find your drink and see how much improvement you need! Go!
If You’re A Woman
1. Cran-soda (Um, you’re missing alcohol, sweet pea)
2. Midori-Sour (I’m gonna need to see some I.D.)
3. Lemondrop (Of course you do…)
4. Chardonnay (Sigh)
5. Vodka-soda (Obvi)
6. Hendricks dirty up. (Hm…you seein’ anyone?)
7. Old fashioned or Manhattan (Let’s hang out!)
8. Scotch and Soda (You’re probably wearing something cool, too)
9. Macallan 12, 1 rock (Damn)
10. Oban, neat. (HOT)
If You’re a Man
1. Cosmo (Uh-Uh. Nope. No.)
2. Mojito (We’re not on a beach, so go home)
3. Margarita with salt (I hope you’re ordering this for your wife)
4. Flavored vodka on the rocks (C’mon, strap on a pair)
5. Grey Goose up (Boring)
6. Scotch and soda (Ok…I’m listening)
7. Hendricks rocks, slice of cucumber (Classy, confident)
8. Johnny Walker Black (I’ll give you my number)
9. Johnny Walker Blue (Nice. You obviously have a job, thank God. 310…)
10. Laphroaig, neat (HOT)
Please note the absence of hot teas, shots of Patron, and sea breezes. If you order these, please stay home.
Sincerely,
Society and Kaylaisms
