Some priceless nuggets from my mind.
I'm an actor in Los Angeles who actually acts.
In love with Blue Moon.
Drenched in cynical sarcasm.
In need of a puppy.
Addicted to flossing.
Loathes bad spellers.
Turned on by proper punctuation.
--Kayla Mae Maloney
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
An Actual BBM Conversation
I decided to watch “Dear John” tonight and BBM’d my bff throughout the movie. Here are some highlights.
Me: I’m watching “Dear John” on netflix. Go ahead and judge me.
BFF: Oh believe me, I am.
Me: 12 minutes in…I dunno if I can do it…I wanna makeout with Channing Tatum. Amanda Seyfried has great boobs. This movie is done so poorly. Oh, I’m obviously still teary eyed.
BFF: Stop watching it!
Me: But they just had sex! But months later she’s engaged to someone else! Bring me trail mix, please.
BFF: I’m watching Fatal Attraction.
Me: Channing got shot! For the love of God!
BFF: I can’t believe you ruined it for me! Now I’m not gonna see it!
Me: Well he didn’t die. Whew. Tears would ruin my spray tan, huh?
BFF: Tell me you’re not crying over that fluff please.
Me: I’m crying. I’m sensitive. And I’m not the only one! Channing is crying, too!
BFF: Kayla, you’re a fag.
Me: What?! Seyfried chose the wrong guy over Channing! I do not like this twist! She really fucked her life over. If they do not end up together I’m gonna be pissed. OMG. It’s over. This was not a good movie.
BFF: Really, Kayla? It wasn’t? What a shocker!
